The Truth About Lady Porn

by Emily Balivet (find her amazing work on Etsy!)

“The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.
They're in each other all along.”
-RUMI

Women desire much. And when we make our desires known, the world trembles.... or, makes fun of us.

Sure, men can have their complex fantasies about the perfect woman, but isn’t it amazing that when women have these fantasies, they’re treated as such, and we are patronized for them! Silly girl stuff... lady porn. Chick flicks, et al!

But sister, it’s not true!...

This perfect, chiseled, gorgeous, intuitive, feirce, strong AF but sensitive man we suddenly feel obsessed with fantasizing about is not merely an outer affair (no pun intended)...

He is the stuff of instructive, living mythos...

Here's a secret that needs to be shared: Your lady porn affinities are real, needed and telling you something important.

If you've ever fallen in love with a male character in fiction, film or television, it's because your Soul craves earthly romance with the world, with mystery and with your birthright to enjoy this luscious life! It speaks to your Divine right to be loved, to know you are lovable and to be honored and supported in your endeavors.

Falling in love with a “fictional” man should remind you, not of how "unrealistic" you are about men... nay, it's a clarion call to go inward and find the power and gifts you carry. When you fall in love with the ideal, seemingly unattainable man, you're actually opening to the ancient, mythopoetic domain of the Animas, the Inner Beloved*, the Sacred Mate...

The real reason we desire this man and secretly hope and pray that in someway he must be real, is because he IS real! And we long for union with him. That’s why romance stories are the among the oldest legends ever not forgotten. The trouble is that the culture has forgotten a key piece of the story… that is, to tell us that these lovers are metaphors for a magical integration within available to us, necessary for the full maturation into our personal powers & gifts.

Just as you long for him to passionately, playfully hunt for you in the wild woods, he longs for you to allow yourself to be found within. Can you taste the power that you have when he's by your side, or better yet, a living part of you?

The call of the perfect mate (whether male, female or gender-fluid in your desire-scape) is a form of Soul Call.

One that's been diluted and devalued by pop culture but is actually a sacred marriage with the inner-soumate who is a wellspring for your personal healing, a guide who lives to help you animate your ideas in the world, a tireless inner-supporter, comrade and lover.

And it matters that you find him/her/them within; let him catch you or surrender to her love. They are the one who holds the key to the confidence that escapes you. They are the one who reminds you of your power, inspires you to adorn yourself, express yourself, be seen.

The Inner Beloved* is real.

My most recent clarion call inwards to deepen connection to my Animas. Ah!

He’s far from mere fantasy babe… Let yourself be hunted by that part of you that most longs to be found. And let it be sexy. Let it be fun, dangerous but ultimately, empowering.

Let yourself believe enough in this Divine and perfect Love to feel fully enamored, lusty, real and vital. Believe enough that he/she/they appears at your side. Look for signs outside, too, that he is watching, protecting you. But look mostly within.

He yearns to be known by you, to serve you and be nourished by you in turn and also: to turn you on from the inside-out with his lessons in autonomy, confidence, body-love and vulnerability.

So many women need and crave union with that part of them that has the power to make their vision real in the world. But you cannot get there without inner-integration. You cannot get there without a love affair with your inner, Sacred Other.

Wildly,
Amanda

*With recognition to Bill Plotkin’s works: Soulcraft & Nature & The Human Psyche where he goes into great detail about this numinous, inner work of Inner Beloved, Animas, etc. Also see Joseph Campbells work and that of just about all romantic/nature-based poets.